Life's a journey, not a destination.
25.01.2012 в 01:22
Пишет OlgaZ:Возвращаясь к прекрасному фотобуку 1995 года
Story by Toshi
The bright sunshine disappeared in front of me on the wide horizon gradually. In the huge canvas built by the sky and the sea, with the boldness and carefulness far beyond human imagination, it vividly and freely created the art belongs to itself. The beautiful and dreamlike sunset gradually sank and overlapped with your face.
When I lost you, my heart fell down to desperation. Who am I, what should I do? All those I can't find out answers. Does the exit exist really? I can't see the light from it.
When I realized it, I was going straight to the north along the 101 highway between Los Angeles and San Francisco.
As if I was going to escape from Los Angeles, the place full of memory with you?
Or to follow your shade?
The writer we both love to read and connects us together, John Steinbeck - I am going to his birthplace, at the same time the stage of his work, Salinas.
I used to think all things happened by accident. But now looking back at this, maybe there is something directing me and leading me to begin the inscrutable trip.
I feel pain.
So painful so painful, it's too painful to bear.
The more terrible than silt darkness, heavier than gravitation power swallows me. The whole body and mind is reined by stupid ideas.
Losing appetite, losing sleep, can't angry, can't cry.
You are not beside me at the time I need you so much.
Your shade disappears in front of me
Is it so-called treachery?
What should I trust?
What should I think about?
Where should I went?
Where may I stay now? I can do nothing but carry a scarred heart, walk back and forth without knowing where to go in the dark and keep on searching the little light.
The days we spent together after we met… What do they mean?
What is the meaning of losing you?
No matter when and where, your warm smile, your serious eye light, your hopeful voice and your lonely back that appears once in a while, always came into my mind.
Lost you, I began to learn how important of your existence. Why wasn't it found before?
If I had realized it earlier, you wouldn't have left me.
Is there anything i hadn't done to meet with you? What corners you?
What should I learn from now on?
Why you threw the questions to me without answer and disappeared?
All happened makes sense.
What you said keeps resounding behind my ear. And it has been the whole and only support of mine.
Wind showed something just like harbinger.
The second I realized, the clouds, which used to float peacefully and steadily around me like time did, suddenly changed terrible dark that screamed in a low, heavy tone and drawing close to me.
The blue sky of Salinas would be covered ferociously soon, the gentle wind became freak out. The earth was shaking, the sea was torn apart. The all peaceful view around was destroyed in the blink of an eye. Something opened as a huge mouth showing tusks, as if it wanted to swallow all lives. Nature like this attacked all.
At that moment, the first time in my life I was conscious of death. I trembled when I faced to death, prayed the storm over quickly.
Nobody knows the real face of nature. She keeps secret of her gentleness, terror, width and strength. I tried to put myself in the nature and found the existence of myself so insignificant. It is stupid of me to bother this unimportance.
Even said so, but no avail, I am still in brambles.
Even the doubt in heart has been finally found the answer, immediately there will be new ones. No matter when and where, it is always repeating. Is there an exit indeed? If there is, I would rush out. So if there is an exit, please tell me.
Please, please don't let me suffer pain.
How should I do?
What should I do?
Oh, please leave me alone, please give me freedom.
I am eager to escape the darkness, as soon as possible, no more than one second staying here. Here is hard and lonely.
I long for seeing the light. I long for exposing in the sunshine. That's all.
All happened make sense.
If it is true, just tell me -
What the meaning of reality is.
What the meaning of my existence is.
Bear that good at imitating – Johnny, tender but weak Lennie, strong Elisa, and busy rushing among parents, brothers and lover Carl. These story personae are raised by this land of Salinas. Now I am nurtured also.
Contact various people, contact beings, contact nature, only run after the footsteps of mine. In the end, I can touch real me, congratulate myself on the real me coming back, and there is me who praise self.
I might finally reborn.
And, from now on, every day is a new life.
In far distant dreams
In the days that become more and more anxious
So painful to ask
What I'm living for?
Looking at the same future
Unconsciously avoid that eye
Close my eyes to turn to a blind,
But still cannot ignore my heart's cries
So painful, so painful
Even if using lies to gloss over all
You've never said to me… "So long"
Lonely in a peregrine long night
Can't help calling
The familiar warmth gradually leaves me
Unpredictable just like moonlight, your name
Sometimes be betrayed
Sometimes be hurt
But you've taught me
You are so trustworthy
You are the treasure to me
So easily, so easily
Tears fall down
Though it exposes my weakness
You've never said to me… "So long"
We can get the glory
When ever, when ever
Can we share the real freedom together?
You've never said to me
So I will never say to you… "So long"
As a token of my gratitude
I'll sing a song for you and me, eternally
In the dark black sky, only the moon radiates the pole blue light quietly. The tiny stars guard the still moon, and at the same time radiate the light themselves. The moon must understand all passed of me thoroughly, and therefore guard me… Also do the stars.
"How about one more espresso?"
The tender's low voice sounded next to my ear pulled me back from memory.
A gentle old waiter gave me a cup of espresso with a smile. It won't be a better gift to heal my floating in memory heart.
As if invited by the wind from Salinas, it is a journey of seeking lost self. So hard and pain, as if never end. But looking back now, perhaps it was just the nightmare of time that was not over.
After that, though there happened a lot, whenever, I believe that all time and things existed make sense. So I believe I can overcome all these.
No matter darkness of hopeless cage or desperate abyss…
I should open the door leading to future by myself. And the key to the door is kept in my heart.
I don't know from when on, I ignored the voice from my heart and lived cheating on myself.
When I realized this and wanted to escape, a pursuit voice raised next to my ear, "You don't understand? Why don't you understand?"
These people who have been supporting me, encouraging me, guarding me and trusting me and the nature… Now, I want to pass the important thing to you.
I recall that you, who left me then, were the same as me, scarred all over while hurting me.
Now, facing to you, the one who has given me the sense of living and the role of life, I finally am able to express my own voice from my mind sincerely,
Indeed, thank you
And, so long
With my endless love and thanks
И мне захотелось сохранить здесь одну из самых моих любимых песен Тоши в сольном творчестве -
Everlasting Love.
Сингл Sayonara no Kisetsu Ni [1994.12.19], и также она была включена в альбом GRACE [1995.03.29]
Чистый, летящий голос. Наполняет душу светом.
URL записи
Story by Toshi
Salinas…where Aeolus can be heard
サリナスは風
本書をすべの悩める人々に捧ぐ
To everything I have experienced
To everything I will experience
To everything I have met
To everything I will met
To Oneness and it's Love
I give you my everlasting love and gratitude
サリナスは風
本書をすべの悩める人々に捧ぐ
To everything I have experienced
To everything I will experience
To everything I have met
To everything I will met
To Oneness and it's Love
I give you my everlasting love and gratitude
Красиво и грустно...
When autumn wind starts blowing, people can't help becoming nostalgic. At the season turn from summer to winter, I as if be attracted, came to the little hill as usual, watching the setting sun in Santa Monica, putting a cup of doppio coffee on the table, carrying an old yellow novel…The bright sunshine disappeared in front of me on the wide horizon gradually. In the huge canvas built by the sky and the sea, with the boldness and carefulness far beyond human imagination, it vividly and freely created the art belongs to itself. The beautiful and dreamlike sunset gradually sank and overlapped with your face.
When I lost you, my heart fell down to desperation. Who am I, what should I do? All those I can't find out answers. Does the exit exist really? I can't see the light from it.
When I realized it, I was going straight to the north along the 101 highway between Los Angeles and San Francisco.
As if I was going to escape from Los Angeles, the place full of memory with you?
Or to follow your shade?
The writer we both love to read and connects us together, John Steinbeck - I am going to his birthplace, at the same time the stage of his work, Salinas.
I used to think all things happened by accident. But now looking back at this, maybe there is something directing me and leading me to begin the inscrutable trip.
I feel pain.
So painful so painful, it's too painful to bear.
The more terrible than silt darkness, heavier than gravitation power swallows me. The whole body and mind is reined by stupid ideas.
Losing appetite, losing sleep, can't angry, can't cry.
You are not beside me at the time I need you so much.
Your shade disappears in front of me
Is it so-called treachery?
What should I trust?
What should I think about?
Where should I went?
Where may I stay now? I can do nothing but carry a scarred heart, walk back and forth without knowing where to go in the dark and keep on searching the little light.
The days we spent together after we met… What do they mean?
What is the meaning of losing you?
No matter when and where, your warm smile, your serious eye light, your hopeful voice and your lonely back that appears once in a while, always came into my mind.
Lost you, I began to learn how important of your existence. Why wasn't it found before?
If I had realized it earlier, you wouldn't have left me.
Is there anything i hadn't done to meet with you? What corners you?
What should I learn from now on?
Why you threw the questions to me without answer and disappeared?
All happened makes sense.
What you said keeps resounding behind my ear. And it has been the whole and only support of mine.
Wind showed something just like harbinger.
The second I realized, the clouds, which used to float peacefully and steadily around me like time did, suddenly changed terrible dark that screamed in a low, heavy tone and drawing close to me.
The blue sky of Salinas would be covered ferociously soon, the gentle wind became freak out. The earth was shaking, the sea was torn apart. The all peaceful view around was destroyed in the blink of an eye. Something opened as a huge mouth showing tusks, as if it wanted to swallow all lives. Nature like this attacked all.
At that moment, the first time in my life I was conscious of death. I trembled when I faced to death, prayed the storm over quickly.
Nobody knows the real face of nature. She keeps secret of her gentleness, terror, width and strength. I tried to put myself in the nature and found the existence of myself so insignificant. It is stupid of me to bother this unimportance.
Even said so, but no avail, I am still in brambles.
Even the doubt in heart has been finally found the answer, immediately there will be new ones. No matter when and where, it is always repeating. Is there an exit indeed? If there is, I would rush out. So if there is an exit, please tell me.
Please, please don't let me suffer pain.
How should I do?
What should I do?
Oh, please leave me alone, please give me freedom.
I am eager to escape the darkness, as soon as possible, no more than one second staying here. Here is hard and lonely.
I long for seeing the light. I long for exposing in the sunshine. That's all.
All happened make sense.
If it is true, just tell me -
What the meaning of reality is.
What the meaning of my existence is.
Bear that good at imitating – Johnny, tender but weak Lennie, strong Elisa, and busy rushing among parents, brothers and lover Carl. These story personae are raised by this land of Salinas. Now I am nurtured also.
Contact various people, contact beings, contact nature, only run after the footsteps of mine. In the end, I can touch real me, congratulate myself on the real me coming back, and there is me who praise self.
I might finally reborn.
And, from now on, every day is a new life.
In far distant dreams
In the days that become more and more anxious
So painful to ask
What I'm living for?
Looking at the same future
Unconsciously avoid that eye
Close my eyes to turn to a blind,
But still cannot ignore my heart's cries
So painful, so painful
Even if using lies to gloss over all
You've never said to me… "So long"
Lonely in a peregrine long night
Can't help calling
The familiar warmth gradually leaves me
Unpredictable just like moonlight, your name
Sometimes be betrayed
Sometimes be hurt
But you've taught me
You are so trustworthy
You are the treasure to me
So easily, so easily
Tears fall down
Though it exposes my weakness
You've never said to me… "So long"
We can get the glory
When ever, when ever
Can we share the real freedom together?
You've never said to me
So I will never say to you… "So long"
As a token of my gratitude
I'll sing a song for you and me, eternally
In the dark black sky, only the moon radiates the pole blue light quietly. The tiny stars guard the still moon, and at the same time radiate the light themselves. The moon must understand all passed of me thoroughly, and therefore guard me… Also do the stars.
"How about one more espresso?"
The tender's low voice sounded next to my ear pulled me back from memory.
A gentle old waiter gave me a cup of espresso with a smile. It won't be a better gift to heal my floating in memory heart.
As if invited by the wind from Salinas, it is a journey of seeking lost self. So hard and pain, as if never end. But looking back now, perhaps it was just the nightmare of time that was not over.
After that, though there happened a lot, whenever, I believe that all time and things existed make sense. So I believe I can overcome all these.
No matter darkness of hopeless cage or desperate abyss…
I should open the door leading to future by myself. And the key to the door is kept in my heart.
I don't know from when on, I ignored the voice from my heart and lived cheating on myself.
When I realized this and wanted to escape, a pursuit voice raised next to my ear, "You don't understand? Why don't you understand?"
These people who have been supporting me, encouraging me, guarding me and trusting me and the nature… Now, I want to pass the important thing to you.
I recall that you, who left me then, were the same as me, scarred all over while hurting me.
Now, facing to you, the one who has given me the sense of living and the role of life, I finally am able to express my own voice from my mind sincerely,
Indeed, thank you
And, so long
With my endless love and thanks
И мне захотелось сохранить здесь одну из самых моих любимых песен Тоши в сольном творчестве -
Everlasting Love.
Сингл Sayonara no Kisetsu Ni [1994.12.19], и также она была включена в альбом GRACE [1995.03.29]
Чистый, летящий голос. Наполняет душу светом.
-
-
04.07.2013 в 21:58читать дальше